This Feeling. Right Now.

January 30, 2013 § Leave a comment

In the midst of producing words for dissertation, I looked out the window on my left.

A minute ago, the sun was shining brightly, so brightly that I had moved my belongings to the seat further away. Now, I see little raindrops hitting the window pane, accompanied by strong gushes of wind. A group of athletic guys across the field kicked their football away, and run for shelter.

The sudden change in weather. So rainy and so windy.

It distracts me for a second.

And in my earphones, Boyce Avenue’s lyrics went by.

Inside you’re dying cause you can’t believe…

It was none of your fault…                      (song: Broken Angel)

How this moment complements my feelings right now.


It’s okay. I will not question. Anymore.


And just another minute later, the sun appeared again. And so, the rain just stopped. As abruptly as it appeared.

How I wish this feeling would disappear as easily as that.


I’m Sorry, please?

January 25, 2013 § Leave a comment


Where have you been?


I had always thought that being sincere is the most important, but maybe being sincere isn’t enough. I’m sorry isn’t enough. A bitter lesson yet to be learned. A history yet to be repeated.

Right or Wrong

January 10, 2013 § Leave a comment

It all comes to mentality, isn’t it? Or rather self-pride.

Like, thinking that being part of a crime isn’t wrong because you are not the one ‘doing’ it, and crime is only considered a crime if committed by others but never you or your friends.


2013; ready or not!

January 2, 2013 § 2 Comments

What I have done in 2012 :

Fulfilled my first vow on 1st Jan 2012. Ticked.

Going to places I have never been before. Ticked.

Doing things I have never done before. Ticked.

But, there were so many moments when I just wished that I were still under the protection of my parents, where life was so easy and simple, where I never seemed to have felt stressed before not even for examinations, when I don’t have to think and bear those feelings alone.

Missing family and friends back in Taiping, homesick. Ticked.

There were also so many moments when I tried my best to cater to other’s feelings that I sometimes have to suffer through it alone. I don’t know why this year there had been so many times that I consoled myself through things by reminding myself that in the end , people only think about themselves first.

Disappointed. Ticked.

Being very happy. Ticked.

What am I going to do in 2013?

Just go with the flow and make the best out of everything. 23 years have easily passed by, and I just want more.

Where Am I?

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